The Second in a Series of Digressions: Just When I Thought It Couldn't Get Any Weirder...

Today was the first day of the Consumer Electronics Show. That's why I'm in Las Vegas; I'm here to help The Princeton Review, an education company, hawk its new test prep game for the Nintendo DS and also hawk the podcast I create for them.

CES is an industrial show. I've never been to one before, but it looks and feels very familiar as soon as I step inside, and I realize that it's because I recently watched The Conversation and this show is exactly like the surveillance-industry show Gene Hackman attends. CES is more high tech, but it's basically the same: row after row of booths with sales reps shilling whatever it is they're here to shill, all gathered in an unnaturally large and unappealingly lit room. I walk past one booth and catch this snippet of sales-guy spiel: "Here's my honest opinion..., " and I try not to laugh. No one is here to give an honest opinion. We are all here to convince each other that our widget is the best damn widget in creation.

As I walk around the conference floor, I notice that sales people don't look me in the eye; rather they stare directly at my chest, which is where my conference badge dangles. I realize that this is providing me some previously unheld insight into what it's like to be a woman, and I'm oddly grateful for the unsettling lesson. Because my badge identifies me as a member of The Princeton Review contingent, I receive one of two reactions. Those who recognize the company name realize that I have nothing to offer them and leave me alone. Those who don't look confused; they are probably wondering whether The Princeton Review is some sort of journalistic enterprise, and whether they shouldn't be foisting their widget upon me.

Our exhibit is in the Sands Convention Center. It's an adjunct location for CES; the main event is in the Las Vegas Convention Center (I'll be visiting tomorrow). As a result, our site is a little light on blow-your-mind cool stuff, but there is some. A group from MIT is showing off some very cool projects; they're not even selling anything, just letting attendees know that no matter how geeky they are, they are still several standard deviations toward the center on the geek bell curve compared to the folks at MIT. I'd describe what they're displaying but I'm sure I didn't understand it, so I won't embarrass myself. I see some video games that look like they were designed by some of the old Raw magazine crowd, and that makes me feel good. Mostly, though, our pavilion is populated by mainstream overseas electronics whose chief selling point is price. Very few 'wow' moments at the Sands, sadly.

Because we're just a sideshow, we're sharing our building with another show. And not just any show, ladies and gentlemen... No, our cohabitants are none other than the adult entertainment video (AVN) awards, and so the place is crawling with porn stars, porn purveyors, and, I guess, the media that cover the porn world. Here's a picture my TPR compadre Steve snapped in the lobby that the two shows share:


At the outset of the day I amused myself by wandering the lobby and playing a game I made up. The game is called AVN or CES? The object is to guess which show a random person in the lobby is attending. There are two flaws in the game however; (1) there is almost no way to confirm whether I have guessed correctly, short of following people around in a way that would be creepy under any circumstances but which is especially creepy at a porn convention, and (2) there is no need to confirm, because the game is waaaay too easy. All the middle aged guys who are dressed either in biker gear or faux gangsta gear are here for AVN; all the dweeby guys are here for CES. As for the women... well, let's just say it's much, much easier to discern between the two crowds of females and leave it at that. Just look at the picture above and you should understand what I mean.

Today was not a good one in the casino. The machines that had been so friendly yesterday today treated me as though we had never met, and I quickly gave back a chunk of yesterday's booty. I hope I will have the good sense to accept my losses and try again tomorrow, but the night is still young, so we'll see. The high point of the day for me was performing one of my podcast songs at a press conference. The response was quite good, and after spending the last few days wondering what I'm doing here I am finally beginning to see that there may be some opportunities for me.

I'm not sure I'd lay any money on it, though.

So there you go.